Friday, December 11, 2009

To Date or Not to Date

So, I joined a dating website.... against my better judgement. I was convinced by some inadvertent advice from one of my favorite gays. The site is your typical, "indie meets indie" dating site. Lots of hipster, artsy types.
The whole idea freaks me out, to be honest. I know that lots of people find someone through online dating, but I can't really believe I will be one of those people. It goes against my very nature.
The site has introduced me to many types of men... the "let's cyber" guys, the "i want a wife, NOW" guys, the "single dad's looking for mom's" guys... and a random assortment of others.
Some have shown interest, and though I am interested in some, I find it absolutely crippling to reciprocate. How can I open myself up to online dating? Is it possible to be at once strong, guarded and vulnerable?
The question I keep asking myself is, "Am I at the point where I am convinced I won't meet someone "organically"? (p.s. I know I am abusing the "" in this entry)


What I've come to, is that I need to take a leap. Clearly, I am not going to meet anyone in my day to day. I need to open myself up. That said, I can't just let go of my ingrained skepticism, so I'll be choosing VERY carefully.